


Stomach Tied In Knots

by CallMeFranks07



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-08 06:51:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11076285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallMeFranks07/pseuds/CallMeFranks07
Summary: Why is it that the girl that has everything, feels like she has nothing?And the girl that has nothing, wants to find something?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyyy….
> 
> So I know I was pretty much M.I.A for a little bit.  
> Life happened in not such a good way, and I had to take time to get back into it.
> 
> (I know that's not really an excuse but we'll go with it.)
> 
> But now I’m back! Don’t worry, I’m not abandoning the other story, I’ve just gotta find a way to maneuver through it.  
> But here’s a story that I feel has to be told.  
> Enjoy :)

**_1…_ **

 

First day back from summer and I don’t know exactly how to feel. I am slightly excited, slightly agitated. I don't know, my feelings are kind of all over the place. What am I supposed to feel? What exactly are feelings? What is someone supposed to feel when they feel just empty inside? Just incomplete. Empty. I don’t know why these thoughts are creeping into my head. If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m a thinker. I guess that could be good or bad, but with the tendency to just constantly think about the same thing over and over again and dwell about it in my head; it’s not very healthy. Even now, my thoughts are just jumbled. I’ve literally been standing in the mirror for 20 minutes just staring. Trying to figure myself out, and I’m not getting any answers. I cock my head to the right and intently stare at every detail of my well being. Hair golden as the sun on a summer day. Skin kissed by the star itself. A knee-length dress capturing the color of the blood running through my veins. And my eyes. From first glance seems as though warm and inviting, but deeper holds the secrets I seem to keep.

Despite that, I place a warm, inviting smile on my face, whether it’s genuine or not. Am I ready? It seem’s as though I don’t have a choice whether I am or not. “It’s okay, Laura. I can do this.” I sigh quietly to myself. As if on cue, my phone jolts me from thoughts. Can someone tell me why I decided to make Sandstorm by Darude by ringtone? I guess at first it was pretty catchy and I always got caught up dancing to it, instead of answering the call. But now it just scares the living shit out of me. I really need to change that. I walk over and instantly answer.

“Bitch I’m here.” Betty Aka My best friend, everyone. When I moved to California a year ago with my dad, I was a freshman in high school and I guess he thought that leaving 3 weeks before the end of the year was the best idea. Guess who had to be that new girl 3 weeks from summer vacation!? This Girl! It was honestly the worst experience in my life. I went from a girl who spent 14 years growing up in a small little Canadian town with a ton of friends, to a quote unquote ‘hot Canadian girl’ with absolutely no friends. Okay well no, there was this sweet kid from my Spanish class. But I only came to find out he had a crush on this ‘new girl’ and I had to end that immediately. I told him and I quote, that I was the “Gayest person that ever existed on this planet.”, which he greatly understood and in return, stopped having lunch with me. I literally spent the last couple of weeks eating lunch alone in the gym hallway. Anyways, Betty Spielsdorf became my first friend in this wretched place. I was a cheerleader back home, so my dad had another ‘great idea’ to sign me up for the cheerleading trials that summer before Sophomore year and that’s where I met her. At first she was quite the personality: angry at the world, twisted sense of humor, all around bitch. But she was the first person to actually understand me and listened. We learned a lot about each other those 2 weeks and it just stuck; thus a friendship was born. She was actually a sweet person once you got to know her and she was always there whether or not I needed her.

Now a year later, starting Junior year, a lot of things have changed.

I went from a loner to one of most popular girls of the school.

On the Varsity Cheer Team with my awesome best friend.

Finally feeling that this is my new home.

But why did I feel so _**empty?** _

I walk with a purpose out the house to Betty’s new car. Well, it’s not really new but it's new to her! All the dings and scratched paint gave it a lot of personality. “Laura, I would like you to meet Charlie.” I look around expecting another person in the car besides us. I raised my eyebrows.

“Who’s Charlie?” She gave me a blank stare.

“The car, Laura. I named the car Charlie.”

“I thought it was bad luck to give your car a boy name?” She starts to pull the car down the street to head in the direction of education.

“Shh, that’s just some silly superstition people made up to make women feel important.” She scoffed with a smile on her face.

“Wow, this is coming from an extreme feminist that thinks all men should die.” I laugh loudly. “What shall your people think of their intense leader going soft!” I look at her with a wicked raised eyebrow and I see a hint of red crawling up her neck. I gasp exaggeratedly. “Ms. Spielsdorf! Have you met Someone!?”

She opens and closes her mouth numerous time in hopes of a response before sighing loudly. “Yes. I don’t know. Maybe?”

“Oh my god, Who!? Was it anyone we met over the summer at a party?”

“Ugh, No. You know Taylor from Psychology last year?”

I go quickly into deep thought to retrieve any memories of this Taylor-person. “The girl that sits right in front of Ms. Peck?” Betty nods. “Wait I’m confused, I thought you liked dick?”

Betty groaned. “Yes, I still like dick dumbass.”

I throw my hands up in surrender. “Alright, Alright, sorry. I’ll let you continue.”

“Thank you.” She rolls her eyes. “As I was saying, Taylor and her boyfriend, Kirsch, broke up a few weeks ago and I ran into him at Wal-Mart the other day. I never realized how funny and charming he was until now.”

“Don’t forget dumb.” I mumble under my breath, to which earned a glare from her. “What I meant was he’s pretty cute too.” “Oh my god, he is so cute! And like we exchanged numbers and we hung out at his house last friday and we-”

“Oh please don’t tell me you two had sex?” I dry heaved.

“NO! We only kissed once…. Maybe twice… Okay fine we made out, but it was so magical!” She groaned and pulled into a stall in the school parking lot. She rested her head on the steering wheel. “What do I do?”

I start to step out of the car and Betty slowly does the same. “Um, it sounds pretty okay to me. I mean you're single, he’s single. I don’t understand what the problem is?”

Betty looks around her surroundings, acting as if this information was some life or death material. “But he’s a guy.” “Um yes sweetheart, he is.” I laugh at her misery.

“I’m not supposed to like boys! They’re the worst creatures alive! It’s against everything I stand for!”

“Alright drama queen,” I grin. “It’s okay to like boys. That’s perfectly normal for a 16 year old girl, okay? Go! Have fun! Do some weird relationship things with him. Forget everybody else, dude. Also, if it’s so bad why don’t you try dating a girl then?”

“Oh god no, I can barely handle myself, let alone two of me.” She had a grossed out expression on her face “and besides, I can’t see myself fucking one either.”

I let out a devilish laugh. “Oh, sweetheart you have no idea.”

I saw the life drain from her skin. “And I don’t want to know.” We walk side by side into the school campus and I see a vast amount of students populating the quad.

I can definitely tell the freshmen from the upperclassmen. They seem smaller, not really smaller in a physical sense but, smaller in their presence. The feeling of nervousness radiated off of their beings but was covered by a mask of confidence shielded by cockiness. I could pick apart the ones who used to be the top dog of their previous school, towering over their peers. What they don’t understand is though high school is nothing compared to the three years of hell we call middle school. In my experience, Middle School was brutal. The time of growing into who you're supposed to be. Learning about yourself and not with the support of the peers around you. I know how it feels to be tormented and bullied for being different. I Lost a lot of people along the way, but found new ones that continued to tear me down instead of build me up. I lost all feeling after those days.

The ringing bell knocked me out of my thoughts as it indicated the beginning of the first school day. The beginning of the day was just unnecessarily long and boring. Just full of introductions and syllabuses(or syllabusi? Whichever one is right). I mean in all of my classes there were some people I knew, but that couldn’t distract how slow the day was. Thank the heavens the bell just rang for our lunch break and I’m pretty sure I was the first one out of that chemistry classroom. Through the endless sea of students, my feet led me to cafeteria. In my opinion, the most accurate representation of the high school cafeteria has to be Mean Girls. I mean every single group of the school has their own area: the theatre kids next to the stage, stoners are in the corner, ROTC kids are next to the cafeteria doors, Student council are busy sucking up to the teachers there, Athletes and cheerleaders are smack dab in the middle. Anyone who didn’t fall in that category scattered around somewhere.

I finally dodged enough students with some occasional smiles and greetings to finally make it to my ‘designated’ table. Betty was already there chatting up a storm with Natalie and SJ about something when I take a seat and pull out my lunch from my messenger bag. I unwrap my deliciously made PB&J sandwich when I notice it’s quiet around me. I look up to see the three girls grinning at me. “Do I have something on my face?” I reach up nervously.

“So, I see you had an eventful summer Ms. Heartbreaker?” SJ beamed. My brows furrowed.

“What do you mean?” “They’re talking about all the pootang, you got!” Betty chimed

“Okay first of all, don’t ever call it that again.” I cringed. “Like ever. And secondly, why is that such big news, you know I don’t do relationships?” “I don’t know, I just think it's cool that you kind of just do what you want to do. You just follow your own rules and you’re so carefree, I wish I could do that.” Natalie said. My stomach churned and my attitude twisted. I don’t particularly like talking about my love life.

“Guys, it’s honestly nothing. I just like to have fun okay? How about your guys’ summer, how was it?” I quickly deflected the conversation off of me and they started going off about all the guys they met while on vacation. The old me never thought like this. The old me wanted to live a romantic chick-flick and to ride off into the sunset. The old me believed in love and feelings. This new me, is just cold, distant, and mostly afraid. I can’t hurt anymore than I already have, so I guard my heart and keep everyone far away.

Because in the end, _**everyone just leaves**_.

* * *

 

45 minutes goes by in a flash and I’m off to my last class of the day. I’ve actually been excited for this class all day. I’m a student Aide for my English teacher, Mrs. Bonnie, this period which is sort of equivalent to a TA but all I really do is watch her teach a class and play games on my phone. I walk to my desk next to hers and I plop down, with no intention of actually getting up. But of course, Mrs. Bonnie had other plan and walks up to me with a toothy smile.

“Ms. Hollis! It’s great to see you again! How was your summer?”

I put on the exemplary student façade I had stashed away. “It was a ton of fun! I’m so happy to be an Aide in your class this year, I was afraid they’d put me in a class I totally couldn’t understand like physics.”

“Oh no dear, I pulled some strings to get you in here. You’re one of my best students, I could use your help dearly.” Her smile beamed.

“Anything you need! I won’t disappoint you.” I gave her the most genuine smile I had.

“Actually, yes I need your assistance.” Dammit. “Can you please pass these out to each student?” She walked two feet over to her desk and pulled out blank name placards.

I was screaming internally. “Of course, no problem.”

I started walking slowly between the desks, placing a placard down as I passed. “Laura!” I hear my name being called out behind me and see my good friend Lindsey standing in the front of the classroom. She was the heartthrob of the school. Super cute brunette and a very good soccer player. I wouldn’t be lying if I said I didn’t have a slight crush on her but I never really did anything about it cause she was kind of a jerk and she knew she easy on the eyes.

A small smile appeared on my face, “Hey Lindsey, what are you doing here?” She chuckled slightly,

“I kind of failed this class last year so I have to retake it again.” Oh yeah, she wasn’t really the smartest one neither.

“How are you still on the team?”

“It’s cause I’m that good.” She gave that signature smile and wink that usually makes the girls swoon, but I’m pretty immune to it by now.

I roll my eyes playfully. “Nice try, Sweetums. But you should know me by now.” I smile back.

She grabs her chest mocking pain, a devilish smirk on her face “Ooh, one day you’ll be mine Hollis.”

“We’ll see.” I laughed. I continued to pass out the rest of the placards then went back to my desk.

Mrs. Bonnie proceeded to start the class, and I proceeded to doze off.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm just going to start writing and see where it takes us.  
> I didn't have enough time to completely proof read it, but I did my best ^_^

2…

 

I’ve discovered that I have 3 distinct moods. Because when people ask me what’s up, I always say that I’m fine. At a quick glance, yes I’m fine. Lack of indicating emotion. Dullness in my eyes. Tenseless muscles in my body. I’m Fine. But the inner me, screaming for the attention it’s lacking. It’s not just a happy or sad expression. It’s deeper than that. I mean, I wish it wasn’t as deep as that. I just want to feel those simple expressions everyone else feels; sad, mad, happy.

Just 3 basic words.

Why does it need to be more complicated than it needs to be?

 

_**Sad.** _

This isn’t an emotion to me anymore. It’s just my way of life. How does one describe sadness? Why does one feel sad? A breakup? A death? Pure Disappointment? What do you do when all of those hit you at once and you can’t do anything to stop the pain in your chest? What can you do when each of those things just take a big chunks of your hear, only to bring to reality that it is just a muscle that pumps blood through your body and nothing more? Only to keep you alive through the nightmare that is called life? The thought of death runs as a constant thought. Would I be relieved of my torture if were to just go? _**Relieving my pain, would only cause torture to those around me and I can’t bring it to myself to end it!**_ Knowing that I would be the reason for their pain. Their disappointment. In an eternity of life realizing that I’d be the reason for their constant tears and constant grieving. I can’t be selfish. I can’t stop my suffering and start theirs. I can’t bring myself to hurt them, as much I hurt them before.

Mercy is order and Frustration is imminent.

 

_**Mad.** _

Sadness at that point, is replaced by anger. I can’t do anything in my power for my benefit. I can’t do what I want to do; what I need to do; what I have to do. Why am I crying out mercy when time after time, again and again, it’s always me. Taking the hits. Rotting slowly from the inside-out. I should receive vengeance. Take what is mine. I’m tired of living for other people! I’m tired of feeling like the dirt of this earth! I just want to be _**Happy**_.

 

_**Happy.** _

This emotion. The rarer of the three. When it’s there, it’s just a whisper. Silently saying mystical whims and dreams into my ear. And when I try to listen, it’s gone. The faint memory of a genuine smile is lost in the dust I create. Then it’s just gone. There are tiny things in this world that I find ‘happiness’ in. Mostly, just words. Words might have a defined meaning, but certain words keep me pushing and striving. Like _**Hope**_. A small part of me believes that having hope is good enough and that’s okay.

* * *

 

I lay there in bed that isn’t mine with beads of sweat crowning my forehead and naked form. Cigarette in hand, I draw a long drag and carry it into my lungs. With barely a thin white sheet covering our bodies, the room’s air is hot and thick with the remnants of the activities done hours before. I feel a body stirring next to me, and another cloud of white smoke is released from my lips. I turn my head to find her eyes locked onto me. Her beauty within her mind and soul is so captivating. Her profile holds more than others do see. Sunkissed Californian skin. Toned body from years of softball. Long, thick and dark hair that goes for miles. Genuine heart and honestly the most beautiful person. **Samantha Bauer**. All around babe. We met towards the end of our sophomore year together at a Softball game I was volunteering for. It was kind of that moment where we saw each other and we knew we had to have each other. But it wasn’t a romantic thing or a lustful thing. We just had this mental connection or understanding of each other. Like we knew so much even though the other didn’t say anything. Like a Friendly Soul Mate or Best Friend with Benefits. We both had secrets from the world but only each other knew and understood it all. We never pressured each other to be more or less than what we already are and it’s probably one of my only reasons for happiness.

She’s so breathtaking.

If only we weren’t so broken, and lost in the world; we would’ve had a shot.

I turn my head back to the ceiling. “You know that’s gonna kill you right?” Her voice drags me out of my thoughts. I silently chuckle.

“There’s a lot of things that can kill you, if you think about it.” I take another long drag out of the cigarette.

“Yes, you’re right. But this way is probably the most unattractive.” I turned my head to see the smile on her face.

“Well yeah, but I don’t think you had a problem with it a few hours ago.” I said with a wide cheese on my face.

She released a laugh and maneuvered her body to lay on her side with her head propped up on her hand towards me. “That’s because you're my best friend, and you’re really good at what you do, Ms. Heart breaker over here..”

I scoffed. “Oh yeah, totally.”

“I mean it. I love you, Laura.” My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Before you freak out, I don't mean I Love You in a ‘let's get married and move in together way’.” I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding and she laughed. “I mean in a way that I care about you, and I’d be there whenever you need me.”

“Okay good, I don’t think I’m ready to get married at 16 and especially to you. I don’t want to sign a death wish.” I placed the dead cigarette in the ashtray on the bedside table.

A pillow hit my face soon after, and laughter erupted in the room. “You think your ass would be any easier?”

“You’re probably not wrong.” “I am definitely not,” She rolled her eyes playfully. “What time is it by the way?”

I reach over blindly to my phone. “It is 10:42 am. Which also means it is time for me to go.” I start to roll over off the bed and stand at the bedside in my full naked glory. “I’ve got cheer practice at 1 today.”

“Oh, what are you going to practice today? Spelling the word ‘aggressive’? Or do you have that one figured out already?” a smirk grew on her face.

“Ha ha, very funny. You’re just salty no one likes softball and enjoys baseball instead.” I slide my underwear and shorts up my leg before throwing my top on.

She gasps in a mock offended way. “From someone that thinks cheerleading is a real sport!”

“At least my sport involves tiny skirts and hot girls.” I’m stuffing my backpack with all my excess stuff with a grin on my face.

“Oh whatever,” she giggles. “ I have softball practice at 3 today too.”

“Okay well text me if you want to hang out or something later.” I throw my backpack my shoulder and start to slide my shoes on.

“Will do, Madam.” She mumbled with a new cigarette in her mouth. She was still laying in bed, body still barely covered by a thin white sheet. Hair splayed out in a hot mess. Looking like a fucking Greek goddess. I made an approving noise to myself that caught her attention. “What’s up?”

I shook my head slightly. “Nothing, Just noticed how hot you were.” She had a confused expression on her face.

“Have you seen yourself too? Don’t go falling in love with me Hollis.” I barked with laughter.

“Oh please, don’t get ahead of yourself Sam.”

“See ya dude.”

* * *

The walk from her house to mine is only about 15 minutes and in my opinion, one of my favorite things to do. It’s soothing to feel the sun's rays touch my skin and cover me in a warm blanket. It kind of takes me away from reality a little bit. My loud and obnoxious phone in my pocket breaks my dreamlike haze, giving me a brief heart attack. I pull it out and see my dad’s name, then answer without hesitation. “Hello?” I say with a drop of sweetness in my voice.

“Where are you?” He sounded worried, but not exactly upset.

“I spent the night at a friends, I’m on my way home now.”

“You should of called to let me know, I was worried!” There’s the anger in his voice, I sighed.

“I know, I’m sorry. My phone died and I couldn’t find the charger till this morning.” I lied.

I heard a sigh of defeat through the phone. “Alright well, I’m working late tonight so I figured I’d call to let you know I left money on the kitchen counter for dinner.” That struck confusion in my head.

“You’re working? Dad, it’s Saturday? Since when did you start working on the weekends?”

“Honey, I texted you this last week as soon as I found out, remember?” I reach into my memory and I do remember him telling me this. I also remember at the same time he texted me, I was too busy swapping saliva with some cute girl at this party to actually read it.

I stop my feet and groan in frustration. “Yeah, I remember now.” I rub my face with my free hand and continue walking in the direction to my house.

“So yes darling, I’ll be home probably around 2 in the morning.”

“2 in the morning!?” I scream into the phone.

“Yes honey, the station needs a lot of hands right now. I’m sorry but I got to go. Keep your phone on you in case I call okay?” He sounded tired and defeated.

“Uh yeah okay. I have cheer practice at-” The line went dead. Well that was expected. My dad is a hard worker. To the point where he works and spends all his time there and not with me. That’s the first conversation we had in days. Our schedules never matched up, because while I’m at school he’s asleep and when I’m home he’s gone. I’m pretty used to it by now. A few minutes later I make it my home and a bee line straight to my bedroom and plop on my bed. “Ugh this feels so good!” I groan to myself laying on the cool bed comforter. My phone goes off next to me, and my head shoots up. I look and see a new message from SJ:

**11:16am: SJJ**

Hey, so your friends with Lindsey right?

**11:18am: LaurBar**

Yeah, Why? Wassup?

**11:21am: SJJ**

I have a friend that has like a reallyyyy big crush on her…

**11:24am: LaurBar**

Okay?

 

I’m extremely confused on where this conversation’s going.

 

**11:25am: SJJ**

Could you possibly put in a good word with Lindsey for her?

**11:27am: LaurBar**

Who’s this friend of yours?

**11:30am: SJJ**

Her name’s Carmilla…

**11:32am: LaurBar**

???

 

Her name sounded familiar but I can’t put a finger on it.

 

**11:36am:SJJ**

Carmilla Karnstein?

You’re an aide in her English class!

**11:39am: LaurBar**

I am???

**11:41am:SJJ**

Ugh you suck -__-   Can you do it tho?

 

I still really don’t understand what the hell’s going on, but I mean I guess I can do it. But the major problem is that Lindsey is like me. She doesn’t do relationships… Like at all.. The only difference between me and her is that she isn’t very nice about but if the girl likes her, there’s no use in not trying.

 

**11:45am: LaurBar**

I mean yea sure. 

How am I doing this tho?

**11:47am: SJJ**

There's a party today after practice at Kirsch's house at like 7.

Make sure you bring Lindsey. I’ll bring Carmilla.

**11:50pm:LaurBar**

Kk

**11:53pm:SJJ**

Sweet! See you in a little bit!

 

That poor girl is going to eaten alive.

* * *

Practice today was just some simple run through of the routine for the homecoming game in a few weeks, it wasn’t anything too bad. I guess the entire team was going to this party by the way they were twerking their asses and quote unquote “practicing for tonight”. Coincidentally, the girls soccer team was practicing too, so on break I ran over to tell Lindsey about the party and she was all for it. Betty had already dropped me off at home and told me to be ready by 8. I never really understood why parties started at one time but people showed up hours later, and I guess it’s just going to stay a mystery to me. Just as she requested, I was ready for pick up by 8 looking like sin itself. A pair of risky black heels, tight dark jeans, deep black V-neck, my hair a wild mess, and blood red lipstick to top off.

The ride to Kirsch’s was a bit long, as he lived in a very wealthy gated community away from everybody. When we pulled up at around 8:30, the house was infested with horny and loud teenagers. When betty and I walked through the door, I felt like all eyes were on us. Through the sea of people, I saw a collective amount of things. Everything from lust to joy to anger. Being in the center of this cause something in my stomach to feel uneasy. The feeling felt the same as before, in a much darker time. I push it away and set myself on a mission to find the girls and some booze along the way. I finally set sights on the couches where the girls reside with a red solo cup of something in my hand. I guess everyone got the memo to look risqué tonight.

“Well, well girls you're looking extra sexy tonight.” With a devilish grin I sit on the arm of the couch.

“And you’re looking delicious as usual.” Lindsey winks. “So can you tell me why the most desired girl of the school asked me to come to this party?” I gave a sly smile.

“Unfortunately not for me. SJ told me to invite you.”

Her flirtation never stopped. “And why would that be?” And is if on cue SJ stepped in with a gorgeous brunette in tow. Her jaw looked as if it was chiseled from stone itself, her pale skin reflecting the light as if she was shining herself, her messy but in a perfect way and her body… Something I would want to unwrap time and time again. I am pretty sure if I saw her in the past I would definitely remember her cause this girl is honestly so damn sexy. I brought my cup up to my lips in effort to hide the red creeping up my neck into my face.

“Hey Laura. Lindsey. I would like you to meet Carmilla.” SJ introduced. The brunette was expressionless.

I’m guessing Lindsey’s charm kicked into overdrive after seeing this girl. “Hey beautiful, how come I haven’t seen you around school?”

“I’m not really out there.” She mumbled. I sensed her to be really uncomfortable of the situation and I don’t really blame her. Kind of throwing her into something like this is kind of much…

“I could help you with that if you’d like.” I saw Lindsey’s eyes undress her, and it was actually making me uncomfortable. I knew that Lindsey was bad but I didn’t know that she was this sleazy.

“Hey Laura, you think you can help me find a boyfriend?” For some reason, SJ took that as a way to leave the two alone and she hooked arms with me and we went in some random direction.

When she finished dragging me through, I finally said something. “Hey do you think it was a good idea to leave them there?”

“Yeah! You have no idea how much Carm likes her! I’m so excited for her to finally get out there like this.” SJ was literally jumping up and down in happiness.

I held a confused look on my face. “Are you sure she likes her, because it didn’t seem like she wanted to be there right now.”

A beer bottle magically appeared in her hand, “Yeah well, that’s how she is. All the time I've known her, she’s not really the involved type.”

“So you think bringing her to this big party is a good idea?”

“Yeah she’ll be fine.” She was more preoccupied with her beer at this point. I have this gut feeling that she’s not fine, so I’m making a promise to myself to watch over them carefully for the rest of the night.

* * *

Okay so this promise did not go down as well as I thought. About 15 minutes after it was made, a group of kids from our rival school decided to crash the party. At first it was sort of hectic and I was extremely worried that an all out brawl was about to commence with all the screaming and yelling and what not. But then really hot girls from the opposing school calmed everything down and now the party is bigger than ever. People swapping saliva along the wall, dry humping to the music in the living room, half-naked in the pool; it's such a beautiful sight.

What makes it even better is this really cute brunette from our rival school. I wasn’t paying attention to anything she was really saying, I honestly don’t even know her name. All I know is that she’s the captain of their flag football team and she has the most luscious lips. I think she caught on that I was staring cause now she’s slowly leaning towards me and I do the same. I saw something in the corner of my eye that causes me to pull back. I guess that triggered the girl to say something. “Did I do something wrong?” I look up in her worrisome eyes with all a soft smile. She was such a sweetheart. 

“No, of course not, I have to be somewhere. It was nice talking to you.” With that gave her a soft kiss on the cheek and evaded her grasp.

On the way to the backyard I spot Lindsey getting extra handsy with some girl that wasn't Carmilla in the corner, and a rush of nervousness left my body. I continue to make a dash for the backyard only to see more buffoonery out there; similar to inside of course. I’m not sure what I’m looking for exactly, but I’m guessing it’s something in particular. In the corner of my eye again, I see a shadow of a person to my right walk around the corner of the big home. I don’t exactly know why my feet were carrying me in that direction but my mind decided to follow. I dodged a handful of drunk teenagers and finally made it to the corner alive. I tentatively walk around it to see Carmilla sitting there with a cigarette in hand, alone. I sat on the bench next to her, putting a respectable amount of distance between us.

“Mind if I bum a smoke?” I say looking straight up into the sky, admiring the twinkling lights above us. In my peripheral I see her look at me for a few seconds.

“I never pegged you as a smoker.” She handed me a lighter and a single.

I placed the cig in my mouth, lit it and handed her back the light. I took a long drag then blew it out into the atmosphere.

“I have my secrets.” She waited a few seconds before speaking again.

“What are you doing out here? Why aren’t you living it up with everyone else?”

“Maybe, I like being away from the crowd.” I turn my head slowly to make direct eye contact with her darkened eyes. I can see that she holds secrets too. “Is that too much to ask for?” We maintain eye contact for what seems like forever before she turns away to take an inhale of her cig.

It’s been maybe 20 minutes of silence between us and surprisingly, it wasn’t uncomfortable.

We spent it looking upwards into the sky, and I haven’t felt more at peace in a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried really hard you guys! I hope you like it!  
> Let me know what you think!
> 
> Don't be afraid to say hi!
> 
> callmefranks.tumblr.com  
> @haynpopolo07

**Author's Note:**

> I tried really hard you guys! The first couple chapters are going to be a bit short, but it's going to get there.  
> Let me know what you think.
> 
> Don't be afraid to say hi!
> 
> callmefranks.tumblr.com  
> @haynpopolo07


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